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Misinterpretation of Love

Of Course, I was daydreaming....

I was sitting in my bed last night reading when the thought of the misinterpretation of love kept invading my thoughts. So I opened Facebook and decided to write a post on my thoughts. When I reached the 3rd paragraph, I realized this was too much for a FB post. So my daydreaming thoughts have brought me back to blogging for a minute. 

When my daydream manifested into words...

Many of us get so caught up in that fuzzy feeling that we get when we are around that certain person. You know the feeling. When you start smiling when they walk in the room. Their touch sends chills through your body. You want nothing more than to be in their presence. You know the feeling, right?  Many of us call it "love". You throw the word around, back and forth because it makes both of you feel something when you say it and hear it back. But before I go any further, I have to say, Chile, that is NOT love, that's hormones. All those ooey gooey feelings that make you feel all warm inside, nope that isn't love. No matter how much you say it, it's still a bunch of emotional responses triggered by a bunch of hormones.

So, let me tell you about love. Love is not a feeling. Although you can love someone who gives you those feelings, you can also have those feelings without loving that individual. Love, my friend, is an action. Love is a choice, a decision. Love remains when those feelings fade. Love remains when that body that you "loved" is no longer present. Love is a promise. Loving a person means that you are willing to sacrifice your own needs so that they can have what they need. If you aren't willing to lose something important to you for a person, I'm sorry to say, that you are not "in love." Now, I'm not saying you should always lose something important, but you should be willing. And if that person loves you, they would be willing to sacrifice their need as well. And that right there! That's called compromise. Love has no winners and no losers. It occurs between two people who are willing to do whatever necessary to ensure the well-being of the other. But it has to be shared by both partners. One-sided love is an oxymoron. A person who continuously loves another person without receiving that love back eventually begins to despise themselves. One-sided love = Self-hate. If only one person is always compromising, then that person is losing and the other is winning. And like I said earlier, Love has no winners and losers.

So, remember, the next time you say "I love you," think first and ask yourself, "What have I done for him/her lately?" "What have I given up to make him/her happy?" "What have I changed to make him/her comfortable?" Then ask yourself, "What has he/she done for me lately?" and so on. Love is support. Love is hard to do sometimes. Love isn't always sweet and happy, it is sometimes ugly, gross, and exhausting. Love is cleaning up after a sick partner, love is waking up to talk to your partner on the phone while they're driving at 2 am until they make it home, love is quitting smoking because your partner has allergies, love is giving up your motorcycle because your partner worries sick every time you leave the house.

Love doesn't just talk, it does. Love is not a feeling, it is not an adjective. Love is a verb, an action or a decision. One more thing, Love is not always motivation. You know how you or someone you know has said, "I'm doing this because I love you." The doing is actually either the love or dis-love(manipulation) and the because is intrinsic motivation (which can be love). For example, "I'm putting gas in your car because I love you." can be translated as "I'm loving you by ensuring your tank is full because I am willing to sacrifice my time and money to ensure your safety, well-being, and ability to get to your destination without incident." or it can mean "I'm gonna use this extra cash I got to get her some gas. I hope it makes her smile. Because if she smiles, I know she is happy and I'll get what I want later." This is an example how love is action, but not all action is love.

What Did I learn from that...

Well, I typed all of that in a matter of minutes on Facebook. I'm not sure where it all came from, but I definitely learned from it. Whenever I write and am not sure where the info is coming from, I always study it to try to understand what God may be trying to get me to understand. I thought about what it means to be loved by God and what it means to love Him. Loving God requires us to sacrifice the things that may feel good but aren't of Him. Loving God requires spending quality time with Him through prayer, praise, and worship. Loving God means to follow His commandments. It means to acknowledge Him in all things. If God wants man to love his wife like Jesus loves the church and He wants each of us to love thy neighbor, I'm sure the fuzzy feeling and the spoken proclamations was not what He had in mind. I’m almost sure he meant for us to be each other’s keeper, to show those who are lost the ways of Him, to encourage the downtrodden, to uplift those in sorrow, to lend a hand to those whom need help, to provide shelter for the homeless and food for the hungry, to protect those who are weak; I’m sure the love that God spoke about was an action, not a feeling. So, I am challenging myself to reevaluate how I love and how others love me. I challenge anyone who wants to love me to do, to act, to decide, not just say or feel. I challenge you all to do the same.

I love you friends and family by always being willing to teach what I know and share what I’ve learned.


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